i am a 19 year old male currently in university. i have recently realized that i cannot keep up with the all the work. i constantly get what i think are hot flashes while studying. i think to myself i have to remember and understand all this information before my quiz. i also seam to go blank on quizzes, especially accounting. i have dropped 2 of my 5 courses this semester and as well as all 5 for next semester. so i guess you could say i am a university drop out. the thing i am worried about most is breaking the news to my dad, did i mention that hes paying for it? this might sound like i am being a wuss but let me briefly go over our past. when i was 13 my parents divorced. my father accused my mother of cheating on him, he demanded she return home right way so they could discuss it. before and once my mother retuned home from a 2 hr drive i could tell my dad was very angry. he called a “family meeting” and told us that my parents were getting a divorce blaming it all on my mother. my father was in rage while my mom was extremely upset. the next morning i woke up to yelling and fighting between my parents. the police arrived and i had to greet them at the door. my father accused mom of assulting him, (which wasnt the case, i think it might have been a desperate attempt of keeping custody of me and my siblings). i have never told anyone else about this before, not even my best friends because i didnt want them to think my parnets were crazy or anything. my father is a very hard person to please and is extremely judemental. i dont know how he’ll react when i break the news to him that im dropping out of school. he has always put pressure on me going to university constanly reminding me how important it is to get a degree although he doesnt have one himself. i could go on about how my fathers a bit messed up, but i feel like i have already wrote a novel and still havent asked my questions yet. i feel stupid and useless, and often think of suicide. although i always come to my senses and realize suicide is not the solution, but i still think of it a lot. but maybe everyone does? its about twice a day. anyways i feel like i am getting into too much detail. i feel like maybe i should seak some professioal help, but i could be turned down because i am fine and that i would have wasted peoples time.i often get angry with myself about things that nobody else would even think twice about, like forgetting my books at home, i blame myself that i am too stupid to remeber even the simplest of things. so i guess my question really is, can anyone relate to what i am going though? or has gone through somthing similar in the past who can give me some advice? could i have enharated some of my fathers emotional traits such as anger?
Do I Need Professional Help?
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Wow. That is alot on your mind. I can relate I’m in college also. I’m a mother, wife and working on my internship. It is alot on my plate. I think what it all comes down to is anxiety and worry. But you have the added problem of suicidal thoughts. I think you have realized you have a problem. You said that you were afraid to be turned down. Seek help because if you are seeking help for yourself you won’t be turned down. People have different problems. And people take those problems differently. For example, I may be afraid of dying. I maybe so afraid of dying that it affects my daily activities. That right there is enough to say you need help. Counseling can either be short term or long term. I think you should get counseling and this doesn’t make you crazy and it is never a wasted time. I’m trying to get my degree in counseling. I hope this has been helpful. God bless you.
Yes I think you do need professional help. You’re experiencing stress and what could be the start of panic attacks. You need to take a time-out. You need to get out from all that pressure to be able to catch a breath.
You are NOT stupid. The stress is making you forget. The forgetness is your body telling you to STOP and breathe. Anger, sadness, every emotion is your body telling you to stop. If you don’t listen it will soon start to make you feel ill, like headaches, fever, and even loss of speech. It’s also known as burnout syndrome.
Please take good care of yourself!
it sounds like you need to find a job for awhile..school may be stressing you out right now. you can always go to school…you may have to seek professional help to get your dad to give you some air..i have a sister that can’t talk to my dad because he keeps pushing her. she lives in FL just so she’s not near him. i’m a hairdresser and my dad wants to send me to school for a nurse..i pass out over blood….so what’s he thinking…